I’m undergoing so much drama in my life right now, all Emmy’s could be given to me. 

It doesn’t have to be cancer to mean bad but it IS bad. I wish I could just wake up tomorrow and feel differently. Be a completely different person. But it’s not going to be the case. It definitely sucks to be me right now. In addition to that, I’m hurting everyone around me and it makes me feel even worse. I wish I could have someone to listen to me but I just can’t blurt everything out. I’ve been on this earth for 22 years and less than 5 months and I can definitely say that my situation right now is the worst of all the things that ever, ever happened to me. And perhaps, for the people that care for me too. And that’s just beyond heartbreaking. Too much for the toll I have to pay. Too much. :(

I pray to God that I surpass this trial. I know He will guide me through this. I know. When everything and everyone else fail, He surely won’t.